14, this far.
1. you should never have to match your socks, other than to separate black from white; but i still don’t do this. buy 18 pairs of identical socks in each color and throw them all out every 10 months. big W has a sale right now on socks.
2. apparently, pants with pleats get cuffs; pants without, do not. i don’t care about this all too much. i wear shorts and dressies.
3. if you have thin wrists, make sure your watch face isn’t too large. i only know this because i have fat writsts, or as danny call them “frists”
4. sunglasses are to be worn outside. out side. o u t s i d e.
5. wash your hands, at least twice a day. it feels nice, i don’t understand how you can’t wash your hands? the warm water feels like a small asain lady working her magic.
6. if you need to put stuff in your hair to add shine or hold or style, you are washing your hair too often, step back and let your hair chill
7. yes, flossing is good.
8. don’t stay out past midnight three nights in a row.
9.you can ignore the three night rule if something really good comes up on the third night, or if the fleet foxes play three nights in a row.
10. don’t talk to me for more than one minute about your tattoo. if it has meaning, that’s really nice. it means something to you, which is why your skin is covered in it. if i like it, i will talk for longer than a minute about it. you shouldn’t have to sell anything.
11. when i take your drink order, you should already know what you are ordering.
12. you do have to go to the gym or move your legs.
13. complaining about other people smoking is silly, unless they’re sitting on top of you, inside.
14. i’m going to drink some milk, i’ll be back. drink more milk.
